From
the Author - Bonnie Bernell
The
moment of decision to write this book came when my pal
died at the age of 42, quickly, unexpectedly. His
death compelled me to update my will. I wanted to give
some money to research about weight because it had played
a major role in how I lived my life. Then, suddenly, I
realized that I did not have to wait until I died to have
my say--I could say it now, and hopefully help a few
people. "Bountiful" was the word that came to me to
describe my life now. I loved its associations: generous,
plentiful, compassionate. I thought everyone would want
to be bountiful.
Rachel
Naomi Remen, MD, author of Kitchen Table Wisdom and a
favorite author of mine, writes about how limited we
are if we look at what we are not instead of what we are.
She also talks about the value of sharing our stories. So
I wanted those themes of bountiful living and
storytelling to guide what I had to say. I wanted to hear
and share stories, my own and others, so that we could
all be nurtured and encouraged by that sharing.
One
of my stories is about crumbs. In our family, I do
all the cooking. I cook from scratch making, for example,
homemade pasta and sauces from actual vegetables--and I
make a mess! My husband's job is to clean up. He does a
great job cleaning up but sometimes he would leave some
crumbs on the counter. Literally, I wanted to talk about
those crumbs, not figurative crumbs, real crumbs. We had
to learn to tell each other what personal story those
crumbs were triggering. When he could actually understand
what the crumbs meant to me and when I could actually
understand what my talking about the crumbs on the
counter meant to him--when we could hear each other's
story--our already strong bond was deepened and our
relationship was strengthened.
We
learned how to validate each other and empathize with
each other. The grand prize was that we discovered we
had things to teach the other. That is what has made this
book such a joy for me to write--I learned new things
about others and myself. The women who spoke to each
other learned. Hopefully you, the reader, will feel you
have learned something new, or maybe been reminded of
something you already knew, or found something that can
enhance your life.
Since
I continued my private practice as a psychologist while
writing, I would wake up at 4 am, write until 7 am,
sleep a bit and then go off to work. You see, I had to
write this book! The thoughts would wake me and carry me
upstairs to my studio in the middle of the night, with
puppy under foot because this book had to be written!
After
an unexpected discussion about the book with a man I
didn't know he went out and bought the first pair of
slacks that had fit in two years. He had been waiting
until he lost weight he had gained. He felt better than
he could remember. Another person had felt she had to
give up horseback riding as a result of her weight gain.
After a discussion, she found a horse that would
comfortably hold her and bought him.
Learning
to live bountifully is a challenge for all of us. I
am a recovering serious person, someone who wants to make
sure to live fully--do it all. When was the last time you
blew bubbles at a grown up event? That's just what we did
recently because that seemed liked the bountiful thing to
do. No more waiting for me.
What
have you been "weighting" to do?
If you
like what you've read here, Click
here to purchase Bountiful
Women.
From
the Author
