On
Starting a Support Group or Book Club
Finding
another person, or two, or three, with whom you can meet
to talk about facing your challenges is often great fun
and terrifically meaningful. Let people know who you
are, what you need, and ask for their support. A recent
study said that if you join one group of people, you
increase your life satisfaction more than if you
increased your salary by $10,000! Contact with others can
make you feel great, or bountiful!
Some
Guidelines in Staring a Support Group or Book
Club
from
the book. . .
"Sue,
a fifty-three-year-old wife, mother, and attorney, is the
kind of woman who does everything well. Before taking
a few years off to be with her children, she had been a
partner in her firm, working long hours and receiving
accolades and awards throughout her career. She has
created a gorgeous home, is beautifully groomed and
well-mannered, and has friends, healthy children, and a
close relationship with her husband of twenty-seven
years. Sue has a quietness about her that pulls you into
her life. The words she uses to describe herself are
plush, comfortable, round, and womanly.
You
might think she has it all. And maybe she does, because
she has also been part of a group of women, large and
otherwise, who have supported each other emotionally over
the years. The group, originally formed in the 1970s
to focus on consciousness-raising, has changed, with
people coming and going. Regardless, they meet every
month.
Sue
described the group: "Some months, we have three
people there; other months, there have been twenty. Some
women have brought their daughters, daughters-in-law,
neighbors, or friends. Over the years, I've been thinner
and larger. Each person in the group has been different
weights, some larger than others. We give each person
five minutes to check in about whatever is on their mind,
and then after everyone has had a chance to talk, the
discussion is open. If all the time is used with
check-ins, so be it. If not, the discussions are far
reaching. Frequently, some woman is losing weight or
gaining weight, which has become a topic of discussion.
"The
values around having a positive image of your body, at
whatever size, taking care of your health, moving,
doing whatever you need to do to be alive, has permeated
the group. No one is sure how that attitude emerged, but
it has been a source of such constancy and such meaning
that my life has been profoundly influenced by these
associations, more than any other single factor in my
life." Sue feels fortunate that this group has survived
all these years. "Yet," she said, "if this group
collapsed for whatever reason, I would go about gathering
a new one."
Some
Questions to Discuss in Your Group
Overall
•
If you were going to give this book as a gift to someone,
what would you say in your card to them?
•
If you were going to give this book to someone to help
them know who you are, what would you say?
•
If you were going to give this book as a gift to someone,
and you were not sure how they would receive it, how
would you handle that situation?
On
Reading the Book
•
What did you feel when you saw the book?
•
As you began to read the book, what was your mood and
what were your thoughts?
•
As the book was ending, did you want more? Tell the
author!
•
When the book was complete, did you want to go and get
another copy to send to a friend or two? If yes, how
come? If not, why?
The
Language Question
•
What language do you prefer regarding your
body?
•
What specifically would you say, or not say, in trying to
tell someone who matters to you what words are okay with
you to use? What about to people who matter
less?
•
What language do you use to describe other similarly
sized people?
The
Challenges
•
What are or have been your life challenges, especially
ones you attribute to something about your body or
weight?
•
what things would other people say or do that you would
appreciate?
•
What approaches would be taboo?
On
the Book, Itself
•
What story do you remember because, it touched you?
inspired your own solution? annoyed you? made your angry?
or unhappy? gave you an idea for something to try
yourself? do you want to tell someone else? stirred up a
memory of your own? or something else?
What
Specifically?
•
What are the stories from your own life that could have
gone into this book? Or, what story should go into the
next one?
•
What story would you send to your Mother? your daughter?
your sister?
On
the Secrets
•
Did something help you today? yesterday? tomorrow? What?
How?
•
How will keep reminding yourself about to incorporate
that secret into your life?
On
the Next Book?
•
If you were hungry for another book about bountiful
women, what stories would be curious for you? Be sure to
send them to the author!
•
If you could speak to the author, right now, what would
you want her to know?
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